Olympus
by Milk of Awesomeness
Summary: There's a god missing, I just know it. Now if only the other god's could stop fighting we might figure it out. GODS AU. Summary is better than story. Title, not so much. Rated T for... well, whatever


**Also Known As "Just Another World Meeting With A Cooler Name."**

* * *

It was just a normal Olympus meeting. Well, sort of.

"I swear that there's someone missing." Claimed Lord Arthur, god of scones.

"Must be one of your imaginary friends." Mumbled Lord Francis, god of love and beauty.

Arthur turned to respond, but he was interrupted by Lord Alfred, god of heroes. "Don't worry, Iggy! I'll figure out who it is because I'm the HERO!"

"Shut up, you stupid git! It is probably that wanker Antonio."

" _Non_ , it can can't be!" Francis muttered. "He's over there, fighting with Lovino over, apparently, whose tomatoes are riper. _Mon Dieu_."

Sure enough, Lord Lovino was having a one-sided argument with Lord Antonio. "My tomatoes are better than yours, dammit!" Despite saying it, Lovino was slipping his hand into Antonio's stock of the red fruit, his own sitting on the table forgotten.

" _Fratellone!_ " A high-pitched called out.

"Ugh, this is just great." Lovino muttered, before turning around and finding his arms full of his clingy little brother, Feliciano, god of pasta.

"Oh, I know who's missing!" Antonio said. "It's Gilbert."

"What?" Said Lady Elizabeta, goddess of frying pans. "But he's not even a god anymore."

"With good reason." Mumbled her aristocratic husband Roderich, god of music. "It's not like that idiot was needed. Why have a god of awesomeness?" He scoffed. "Especially not one who isn't much of an expert in the field. "

On his right side another god was chatting excitedly to Lord Berwald. "I can't wait until December so I can go Christmas shopping for Peter."

"Why don't we go to IKEA right after the meeting and get him a new bed?" Tino, god of Christmas, looked up at him with a sparkle in his eye.

On Berwald's other side, the god of partying and Legos started in. "Why did I even come to this stupid meeting when I can party at the cool club next door?"

"Shut up, Mathias." Muttered Lukas, god of magic. He turned to Emil, god of puffins, who happened to be sitting next to him. "You see, little brother—"

"Stop calling me that!"

"Once you call me big brother, _little brother."_

" _Ekki_!"

Next to them, Basch, god of neutrality was mumbling to himself while keeping a close eye on Lili, his little sister, goddess of cuteness. Something about peace prizes and Austrians.

Heracles, god of cats was sleeping in his spot between Francis and Sadık, god of masks, who was switching between glaring at the sleeping man and glaring at Antonio, who was now standing in front of Lovino with a possessive look on his face.

"Will everyone shut up!" That was Lord Ludwig, god of potatoes.

It went silent until Lovino broke it. "You shut the fuck up, potato bastard! You might have my _fratellino_ wrapped around you fingers but—"

" _Fratello,_ why are you so mean to Luddy."

"Feliciano, I thought I told you to stop calling me that."

And thus, the Olympus meeting went downhill yet again.

Emma, goddess of waffles, turned to her brother Lars, god of money, who was counting all of his money while glaring at Antonio. Whatever she was going to say was interrupted by the girl next to her turning to the tall man other her other side. " _старэйшы брат_ " She muttered. "The other gods are all distracted. How about we ditch the meeting and become one?"

" _Nyet!_ "

On his other side was Katyusha, goddess of breasts. On her other side of Lord Yong Soo, god of breasts, who was currently trying the claim Lord Yao's.

On the other side of the room, a valley girl accent spoke to the brown haired boy next to him. "Hey, like, this meeting is totes boring. Why don't we just leave and go shopping?"

"Feliks! We have to stay!"

"I have better things to do than these stupid meetings. Like, tending to my ponies and being fabulous!"

Ludwig had long stopped trying to control the chaos and was now in his seat nursing a headache while Feliciano buzzed around him and went on about pasta while trying to avoid being strangled by a struggling tomato-faced Lovino, who was being restrained by Antonio.

That was probably why he just nodded when Kiku stood up from his spot between Yao and Alfred and walked over to him. "Ludwig-San. I feel like we need a break."

"Ja, a break would be nice. Why don't you find who's missing?"

" _Hai,"_ he replied.

* * *

As he walked away from the meeting room, he heard a loud moan coming from one of the supply closets the gods kept. He turned curiously to it and cautiously opened the door… and quickly closed it, his face burning and nose bleeding.

"Gilbert-kun…? And Matthew-san…?" He muttered to himself. He reopened the door and fingered his camera around his neck.

The god of yaoi made a mental note to sell the video to Elizabeta later, and maybe make some dōjinshis of them when the meeting got too boring.


End file.
